Building Bridges: Embracing Inclusion, Connection, and Uniqueness
My daughter, who is profoundly Deaf, was helping me clean up the living room while my two boys—one with typical hearing in one ear but no hearing in the other ear (Unilateral Deaf) and the other with typical hearing (CODA) were wrestling nearby. At one point, they stopped playing and started talking to each other in the kitchen. I walked past them and gently reminded them, “Remember, your sister is Deaf. Please sign.” Without hesitation, they switched to sim-com (speaking and signing), and when their sister joined them, the boys switched to voice-off mode (they turned off their voices) and signed fully, creating a fully inclusive space for her. That made her feel included.
It was a small moment, but it reminded me of the importance of being intentional as parents.
This moment reminded me of an important truth: ratio is everything. As a family, it’s easy to forget to sign when only one member is Deaf. The numbers make it natural to default to spoken language. For Deaf ministries, the challenge is even greater, and this is why I stress the importance of leaders ensuring that Deaf members outnumber or are at least equal to hearing members. Without intentionality, signing can easily be overlooked. It can easily make Deaf members feel they don’t exist in its presence. In other words, without intentional efforts, signing—and the inclusion it brings—can fade into the background; invisible.
Families vs. Deaf Ministries
The journey of a family with a Deaf member is not the same as the journey of a Deaf ministry leader. As families, our journey is deeply personal and given to us without choice. It is a 24/7 calling, immersive and unavoidable. We live it every day, in every interaction. It’s not something we “turn off” after 12 hours—it’s our life. For families, it’s not a question of whether to show up—it’s the reality we wake up to every morning.
In contrast, Deaf ministries are about serving well, not entitlement. Stewardship in a ministry is a choice, one that requires intentionality and selflessness. They can “turn off” after 12 hours. True stewardship in Deaf ministry requires immersion—a commitment to be fully present when you are with AND without the presence of the Deaf community. It’s about making Deaf culture and language a valued, natural part of your life, even when no one is there to remind you. Leaders must embrace this as more than a responsibility; it’s a privilege to steward what God has entrusted.
This is why Deaf Kids Connect can connect with Deaf families on an emotional and deeper level in ways that most churches cannot. We understand what it feels like to navigate a world of mixed languages, cultures, and expectations, and we are here to fill the gaps, to come alongside families and churches alike, and to build bridges of understanding and inclusion.
Lessons Learned
1. Grace is essential.
I remind myself to extend grace to my boys. While American Sign Language (ASL) is their first language, it’s not their only one. They move between the Deaf and hearing worlds daily. When they forget to sign, it’s not because they don’t love their sister—it’s just human nature. The beautiful thing is that they naturally adjust as soon as she joins them.
2. Stewardship is our calling.
God has placed us on this journey for a divine purpose. Parenting children who live in both Deaf and hearing worlds is a higher calling. It’s our privilege to help create a home where everyone feels valued and connected.
3. Intentionality makes a difference.
In any family, it’s easy to default to spoken language because only one of us is Deaf. That’s why we remind each other to sign. It’s a team effort, and it helps us create an environment where everyone feels included.
Practical Tips for Families
- Pray. Ask God for wisdom, patience, and the ability to sign – lead your family well.
- Give yourself grace. You’ll forget to sign sometimes, and that’s okay. It is hard to not have anyone to practice signing with. Be kind to yourself, but don’t give up—stay intentional.
- Work together. Teach your kids to remind you to sign. Give them the responsibility to hold you accountable. It’s a team effort!
- Set small goals.
- 1. Decide what you want to work on—maybe signing during meals or family time.
- 2. Be consistent—practice every day, even in small ways. Like practice on your fingerspelling while driving or taking a bath.
- 3. Build habits—make signing part of your routine.
Parenting isn’t about being perfect—it’s about making progress. Celebrate the moments when your family adapts, learns, and grows together. God has equipped you for this unique journey, and He is with you every step of the way. He will equip you for it.
You’re not alone. Deaf Kids Connect is here to support you as you navigate this journey. Remember, even when it feels overwhelming, you are stewarding something beautiful. God equips those He calls. It’s never too late; He ordains the situation for good.
Together, we can build an inclusive ministry where families and communities unite to embrace both Deaf and hearing cultures with love and understanding.
With love and encouragement,
Tanya Polstra
Executive Director of Deaf Kids Connect