“Baby” Sign Language
Hi – My name is Tanya Polstra.
I really want to share my heart in this blog, “Baby Sign Language.”
Just to let you know, every time I see the phrase “baby sign language,” it seems odd to me. There’s no such thing as baby sign language. Yes, I know there are many certified hearing teachers of “baby sign language,” but really they’re teaching basic words like BABY, EAT, MILK, PLAY, and BALL. I get it, but it rubs me the wrong way. Real sign language is already deep and thick. It has structure, grammar, body movement, and facial expressions all being involved. Sign language is enough – why would you have to add the word “baby”? It doesn’t make sense to me.
I never really understood why it bothered me so much until recently. My daughter made the connection for me.
Some of you know I have three children. My oldest son is four, unilaterally deaf (deaf in one ear), my second son is three and a CoDA (hearing), and my last, my daughter, is now eight months old. She’s deaf. My youngest is the one who really helped me make the connection.
So, that day – we had to go to the doctor for her 6 month checkup, just to make sure her height, weight, and development are right on track. It’s just your average check-up. Usually, she and I go alone, my boys stay with my husband. That day, he wasn’t available, so I had all three with me.
Of course my boys were curious about everything and peppered the doctor with questions. He explained what he was doing and let them listen to her heart, and they pretended to be the doctor. It was fun to watch them use their imagination and learn what doctors do. They were also being protective of their sister – “What are you doing and why?”
Well, the doctor finished his exam, said everything looked great, and then it was time for her shots. I explained to the boys that she would get shots and cry for a while, but it’s alright. We’ll put her in the car seat & leave for home. They accepted this. Sure enough, the nurse came in & gave the shots, my daughter cried, I put her in the car seat, buckled her in, and we headed out.
We left the exam room and went down the hall, past the nurse’s station, through the waiting room, and down another hallway to the outside. I told the boys to go in front, they knew the way, and I pushed the stroller as they greeted everyone in sight. I hurried them to move along because I knew Violetta was crying, and when we reached the hall, I stopped to check on my daughter to make sure she was alright. That’s my way of letting her know she’ll be ok, everything’s alright. As soon as I looked at her face, still crying, she looked up at me. She was waiting until I looked at her and we made eye contact. Her communication to me was “MILK” – she actually signed “MILK”.
In that moment, we connected.
As you know, when babies cry, it means something has happened and they want comfort. It could be nursing, rocking, patting/burping, or any way that works. Moms are experts at comforting their babies, they have a connection. When babies feel connected to mom, they are satisfied. My daughter had the ability to ask for her needs to be met. “I want you to comfort me.” How did she communicate this? By signing “MILK.”
She wasn’t asking for milk to quench her thirst or because she was hungry. She communicated, “Mom, I want you to comfort me.” That’s POWERFUL communication – that’s a connection.
I want you to understand this. First, I was pushing the stroller and looking around the environment. Then I looked specifically at my daughter. She waited for me to look at her. She understood that sign language requires eye contact. My daughter knew that at barely 6 months old. She knew to wait for me to look at her and make eye contact. That’s sign language.
Second, she communicated “MILK,” her way of saying “Mom, comfort me.”
That’s when I made the connection and realized why the phrase “baby sign language” bothers me. Because really, sign language is DEEP, and babies can communicate that depth. They can express their wants and needs, express their innermost feelings… communicate.
“Baby sign language” is nothing, really just simple words but no real connection, no interaction, no relationship. That’s when I understood why it really bothers me every time I see that phrase. Sign language is so much more than what they’re offering.
That’s why our organization’s goal is to encourage and support parents that sign language is a beautiful thing with depth. We invite you to get involved, we’re here to encourage and listen to you, to work together to figure out how you can be part of your children’s lives, to communicate with them and have that heart connection.