Help! I don’t want to lie.
Dr. Wonder and the Workshop team teach about living lives that honor Jesus. A fan recently asked for pointers on how to stop lying. Here’s our response:
Lying to get out of trouble is among the first things we all learn. This makes it one of the hardest things to stop doing, but as we trust Jesus and ask for His help, we can become honest people. You’ve taken the most important steps – recognizing something is wrong, admitting you’ve been doing it, and asking for help.
Let’s walk through an example. Suppose there are cookies on the counter, and you want one, but you know they’re off-limits. You know the right thing to do – walk away from the cookies.
But sometimes, we all get caught up in the desire for something — and cookies are very desirable — so you take one. Mom asks about the missing cookie. You don’t want to be in trouble with mom, so you think about lying.
Think carefully about your decision:
- You’re deciding whether you want to live free or carry guilt and regret that makes you hide from people. It’s like carrying a bag of snakes. If any get loose they’ll be everywhere and you’ll have a big mess. Worse, every new lie adds another snake to the bag, making it heavier to carry and harder to keep shut.
- You’re deciding whether you want people to trust you. We can’t trust people who lie, and it’s even harder to grow in confidence and self respect when you know that you lie sometimes.
- You’re deciding whether to stay in bigger trouble with Jesus. Stealing and lying are both sins, and He died to erase all sins, but that only works when you are honest with Him and with others (like mom). Those who don’t ask Jesus to erase their sins will have a lot to answer for in eternity, and that’s really big trouble.
I’m guessing you want to live free of guilt, grow in self-respect and confidence, and have a good relationship with Jesus and others. Here’s how:
- Know that Jesus wants to receive your honesty and build your relationship. Talk to Him, that’s prayer. Tell Him you know you’ve been wrong to lie, and ask Him to erase those lies and anything else that blocks your relationship with Him. Ask Him to help you not to lie anymore, and commit to doing your best to be honest. This starts or restores your relationship with Jesus.
- Grow your relationship with Jesus just as you do with others. Spend time talking to Him about everything and reading the Bible. It’s for everyone, yet He makes it personal to each of us because He wrote it and He knows how we think. When you read the Bible with a desire to know Jesus better, He’ll talk to you in it, and your relationship will grow.
- Go to the people you’ve lied to and tell them the truth. Be honest in your apology and commit to telling the truth from now on. You may need to apologize for whatever led to the lying – like stealing a cookie. No matter how they react, you know that Jesus is with you and pleased with your honesty.
- In every situation, take a moment to think about your decisions again. You’re deciding whether to live freely and honestly, be a person that people will trust, and have a good relationship with Jesus.
It’s simple to understand, but often hard to do. Know that Jesus is with you and will help you make the honest decisions. He’ll even help you ignore fresh warm cookies when you ask Him!