How to Combat “Dinner Table Syndrome”

Hello fellow parents!

I’m Brittany, a mom on the journey of raising one Deaf child and two hearing children, and today I’m excited to share insights from our November 2024 Parent Support Zoom Meet-Up. Our focus this month was tackling the concept of “dinner table syndrome,” which refers to the isolation Deaf or Hard of Hearing children often feel during family meals.

Let’s dive into practical tips and creative ideas to transform mealtimes into opportunities for connection, inclusion, and growth for the whole family:

Understanding Dinner Table Syndrome

Dinner table syndrome is more than a term—it’s a reality for many Deaf and Hard of Hearing children who feel excluded from conversations, even in signing families. This can occur when conversations move too quickly, when signing isn’t consistent, or when efforts to include Deaf children fall short. The goal is to create a space where all family members feel valued and connected.

How to Create Inclusive Mealtimes

Here are some strategies we discussed that can help make family meals more inclusive and engaging for everyone at the table:

1. Establish a Routine

Consistency is key. Predictable routines help children feel secure and informed. For example:

• Prayer: Make prayer time visual by going voice-off and signing as a family. Even a simple “Thank You, God, for food. Amen.” can be a powerful inclusion tool.
• Label Foods: Before starting the meal, sign the names of each dish. If you don’t know a sign, fingerspell or learn it together. By setting it up this way, everyone will at least know how to ask for more of a dish in sign.

2. Teach Vocabulary Through Games

Games are an excellent way to involve everyone and make learning fun. Here are a few we love:

• Copy Me: One person signs an action, and others mimic it. This game requires no prior ASL knowledge and gets everyone moving and feeling more comfortable about communicating without speaking.
• Find Something –: Ask the family to find something red, then have them point to something nearby. Change it up with different colors, or ask them to find things that are hot, cold, or start with a certain letter. If you or your guests need help with vocabulary, you can print a picture of the colors in ASL and put it in a page protector to keep at the table.
• “Bug Game”: This is one my family made up when we didn’t know much sign. We took turns adding the word “bug” after a sign, and the kids thought it was hilarious. One person could say cheese bug. The next person could say popcorn bug. It’s silly, fun, and a great way to use the signs you already know without the need for ASL grammar or sentence structure.

3. Empower Deaf Children to Lead

Give your Deaf child a leadership role during meals, such as teaching the signs for the food on the table or leading a game. This boosts confidence and demonstrates their value in family dynamics.

4. Create Voice-Off Experiences

If your family is new to signing, start off small! Set aside one meal a week where the entire family goes voice-off and uses ASL or other visual communication methods. Encourage guests to join in, providing resources like a chart of basic signs.

A Spiritual Perspective

As we strive to include our children at the dinner table, we reflect God’s heart for connection and belonging. A scripture that resonates deeply with this mission is Matthew 18:12-14, the parable of the lost sheep. The shepherd leaves his flock of 99 to go after the 1 lost sheep, reminding us of God’s heart for each person. Similarly, creating inclusive spaces at our tables mirrors God’s love and intentionality.

Looking Ahead: Thanksgiving Tips

Holidays can be particularly challenging for Deaf and Hard of Hearing children. Here are a few ideas to help:

• Teach Signs for Thankfulness: Before the meal, teach everyone at the table how to sign “I am thankful for.” Then, encourage them to fingerspell or act it out!
• Offer to Lead Prayer: Ask if you can lead the family prayer so it can be signed and spoken.
• Play a Game! If possible, ask the host beforehand if the family could play one of the games we suggested together to make everyone feel included.

Let’s Keep Growing Together

Our mealtimes are more than just eating—they’re opportunities to foster connection, understanding, and love. With intentionality and a little creativity, we can ensure our dinner tables become places of belonging for every family member.

I hope these tips inspire you as much as our recent discussion inspired me. If you have ideas or strategies that have worked for your family, I’d love to hear them. Let’s continue to grow together, one mealtime at a time!