Parenting in ASL: July Parent Zoom Recap

Parenting is so much more than just caring for a child until they hit the magical age of 18 and then carrying on with your business.
We firmly believe that to “parent” is to walk in a divine calling from your Creator—one that He values and treasures with great significance.

This truth is both incredibly encouraging and intimidating to those of us with Deaf or Hard of Hearing children. Now, the tremendous task of training and shepherding our children’s hearts after God’s Word requires the application of American Sign Language—a language many of us had barely any experience with before we suddenly needed to use it daily!

The tension between the need inside our homes and our current experience or ability can feel like a giant weight on our backs and a pit in our stomachs all at the same time.

Sometimes, in our encounters with our children, we know what we want to teach them, but a few minutes into the conversation, we realize we’re lacking key vocabulary or methods to communicate an idea properly. Other times, we’re at a loss for how to convey a message we’re not even confident is the one we need to share—trying to simultaneously become parenting experts and Deaf educators. Many of us just shoulder this burden, knowing this is our calling but feeling the deep burn of pain, fear, sadness, and inadequacy.

If you resonate with these examples, you are not alone—but there is hope!

God did not select you to be your child’s parent because you had some innate ability or expert-level understanding. He chose you because He wanted your inadequacy, fear, and worry to draw you to His feet—where He would see you, meet you, and show you that you can trust Him.

Below are a few items we discussed during our July 2025 Parent Support Zoom. I hope they provide encouragement and practical tips for your daily life. But as you read them, please remember—God is not looking for you to be perfect or without limitations. If He were, He wouldn’t have designed us to be finite. What He wants is for us to know Him. So as you apply these ideas—or learn other tips from your local community—let’s use our challenges in parenting with ASL to draw closer to Him. Because He is not only developing our children—He is developing us as parents, too.

Parenting in ASL: A Look at 3 Realms We Face as Parents

1. Leading: Structure & Routines

All of us, from the most committed list-makers to the laid-back, Type B parents, have rhythms and cadences in our daily lives. From the way we leave the house to how we make meals, our lives are full of routines and patterns.

For those raising Deaf or Hard of Hearing children, the more we can make our days consistent, the better our children will know what is expected of them. They’ll feel confident knowing what will happen—without needing to be prompted or guided in the moment.

The idea of pre-teaching is so valuable here. This means explaining what will happen ahead of time—using a drawing, calendar, or visual schedule—and dialoguing about it before the activity takes place.

This helps our Deaf/HoH children walk into an activity with the information already in their minds. Their eyes can then focus on the task, rather than bouncing between the environment and our hands for ASL directions. Of course, reminders will still be needed, but the more we prepare in advance, the more focus our kids can give to what’s ahead. Let them feel what it’s like not to be guessing, but instead to know what’s expected—and get to be the expert.

ASL Tip

Use the ASL element of indexing (for example, using a 2- or 3-hand shape on your non-dominant hand) to explain the order of steps in an activity. For a 3-hand shape, touch your thumb and explain the first step. Sign “FINISH,” then touch your pointer finger for the next step, and so on. This creates a visual cue you can hold up again during the activity to help your child remember what comes next.

2. Discipline

Discipline is such an important part of parenting—as modeled by our Heavenly Father, who “disciplines those He loves” (Hebrews 12:6).

Disciplining a child with limited hearing can be especially challenging, because the goal is to communicate love, authority, and expectations. If communication is difficult, the result of discipline may be unclear, and actions like time-outs or restrictions may feel confusing or even cruel to a child.

That’s why it’s essential to make your discipline as clear and consistent as possible. Use pictures. Act out what happened. Show your emotions with facial expressions. Ensure the expectation was clear, the offense is understood, and the consequence was previously communicated—and then follow through consistently. This communicates love through training, not just punishment or behavior control.

ASL Tip

Learn and use the sign for “Boss.” Teach your children that you, as their parent, are the boss—and that God gave you that role. Connecting your authority to God’s Word helps build an understanding of God as our ultimate boss and His Word as our source of truth.

Also, when possible, communicate your discipline of other siblings with your Deaf or HoH child who may not have overheard the interaction. This allows them to learn from others’ experiences and reassures them that they’re not the only one who makes mistakes. It widens their view to the biblical truth that we all have sinned and fall short of God’s glory—and we all need Jesus’ perfection, given through His death and resurrection.

3. Loving / Quality Time

All children need quality time with their parents. This can be easy to forget when we’re already pouring out so much for our child with hearing loss. Parenting in ASL all day—especially while navigating between hearing and Deaf children—can feel exhausting.

So how do we find the energy for meaningful connection after all that?

I’ll be honest—I’ve often felt too mentally drained at the end of the day to translate a bedtime book into ASL and sign it accurately to my son. Give yourself grace. It’s okay to say, “I can’t read this book with you tonight.” We are human. We cannot do it all, and certainly not to the unrealistic standards we sometimes place on ourselves.

But ask yourself this: What can you do? Could you toss a paper ball back and forth on the bed for five minutes? Go for a short walk? Scroll through photos from a fun memory? Connection doesn’t have to be complicated.

Quality time doesn’t have to mean perfect ASL or a full-on language lesson. It simply means spending time together in a way that is meaningful to both you and your child. For some kids, it’s eating lunch side by side—rather than you still standing at the counter. Even small shifts like that can foster deep connection.

My encouragement to you (and myself) is to look for togetherness opportunities that fit within your limits but still build closeness.

Don’t forget—parenting isn’t ultimately about academic, emotional, or social outcomes. One beautiful part of parenting (as a book I once read described it) is that we get to be grace dispensers—a visible, tangible form of God’s love and care that our kids see every day.

We get to show our kids elements of their Creator through how we lead, discipline, and love them.
Let’s walk with that faithful Creator, then—as He enables us to do this sacred work.